For an ESL college class, I'm wanting to know what are appropriate, typical compliments used between Russians today. Also, what
would be a typical responce when given a compliment? Apt turn of compliment is a science in itself and even art. The laws in Russia are very loyal and that's why compliments can touch even sexy and intimate topics. But if you do not know the person very well, it is better not to do it. You won't be taken to court but you can insult a person and leave not the best impression with him. That's why compliments about waist, legs and breasts is better to be paid to a person with whom you are in a close relationship.
The best compliment is one that the person was waiting to hear. If you notice that a woman has put on new clothes or made a new haircut, it will be appropriate to show that you like it. She waits for approval and good words. The common compliment will be to say that she has a great dress on. More refined and personal complimnt will be to say that she looks in the new dress very attractive (feminine, elegant, romantic etc. depending on her style). If a person usually shows his feelings and emotions openly, then he can say that in her presence his mood goes always up. But if a person is reserved, it is better not to use such compliments, they will sound false.
If people get acquainted in absentia (for example, on a dating site), it is better to pay attention which qualities, hobbies, life events the person puts accent to in his questionary and in the pictures and then direct his compliments in this direction.
The main thing is that the compliment should be sincere. Tell about the thing, that you really liked. Insincerity can be taken as a mockery.
There are no typical response in Russia. Neutral response will be a smile and polite Thank you. Women who are more sentimental and romantic can show embarrassment. Response in the form of counter-compliment will speak about readiness to begin acquaintance. Back to top
I love my russian wife 32 years we are married since 6 years and since one year almost we do love evry
two weeks and before it was almost every night she\'s faithful and have nobody else. What can I do? Unfortunately, cooling of feelings as the time passes and, as a result, drop in sexual activity is a usual thing. You met
this problem after 6 years of marriage, but many couples meet it after the end of their honey moon.
Women differ from us, men. For a man, the desire to have sex is in greater degree connected with physical demand of
the body, and if he has enough vigor and health, he is ready to do it a lot, often and with pleasure. For a woman,
sexual desire is more connected with feelings and emotions. And if her feelings get cool in everyday problems and daily
monotonous tasks, then her feelings pass,
Many specialists recommend to fight with monotonous life with the help of different poses, technique and movements. But as
experience shows, it does not help in all the cases. Expensive presents do not solve the problem also.
Recall, in the beginning of your relationship you did everything possible to impress each other, to attract, to make another person
interested. And now it seems you began to rest on your laurels and thought that the process will go by itself.
Unfortunately, there are no universal prescriptions about this. Attempt, let your imagination run away, play!!!
I recommend you to read my article "The secrets of Kazanova" that is put on the site (in the psychological center). It may help you with some ideas.
Dr Ivanov, Back to top
How much sexy Russian girls are comparing with asian? What sexuality do you mean?
If you talk about physical temperament, it ,contrary to wide-spread opinion, does not depend on nationality.
If you think about sexual reserve, governed by mentality, both in different regiont of huge Russia and different countries of Asia traditions are completely different.
If you ask about individual sexual self-expression in image, communication and behaviour, look at the pictures and questionarries of each girl and you will find the answer to this question in each case.
To add to that, this is also a question of your taste. the same girl can leave one man absolutely immune to her charms, but another one will find her terrifically sexual.
I'm in a bit of a touchy jam, and I need to know how to
gracefully get out of it. I'll try to make a long story
short- in my recently-started quest for a Russian mate, I put my
profile on a couple of sites and almost shockingly, got a ton of
responses-many of them who I was genuinely interested in. Since you
never know how any particular correspondence with a woman will go
until there is something solid like talking on the phone,
meeting face-to-face, etc., I wanted to keep my options open and
I'm actively corresponding with 6 or 7 women. Now, it's
early while I have told each of them that they have the qualities
that I'm looking for, and we've exchanged photos and much
information, it's fairly quickly gotten to the point where they are
all very interested. All of these women are really wonderful, and
every single one would be great for me, as far as I'm concerned.
But there is ONE WOMAN out of these 6 or 7 that I REALLY, TRULY feel
in my heart is THE PERFECT woman for me, and our letters to each
other, so far, reflect that WAY more so than the others. However, I
have kept things going with the other six women up until now because
this early, I don't know if things are for real or getting
scammed, possibly (which I don't think is the case, here). My point
is, my problem is this: I want to get ALL my attention to this one
woman and want to stop corresponding with the others. But they have
been SO sweet, SO real and I'm a very nice, decent man that seems
like, for one reason or another, got in over his head with
correspondence. I guess in the beginning, I didn't want to rely on
just one correspondence for fear that something may not come out of it
and then I would lose the opportunity with others I was interested in
forever. The LAST thing I would want to do it hurt them, but I don't
see any way around this. HOW can I POSSIBLY tell these women that
something has happened, something has changed, we
cannot correspond any more, how can I do that gracefully without
breaking their hearts or crushing their dreams? I am very sensitive to
that, and I guess I should have done things differently, but I really
didn't expect this to happen as it has. Is there any advice at all Hello Andy,
It seems to me that you as a serious and at the same time sensitive and sentimental man, lay it on thick and
see the present situation too painfully. Communication and acquaintances in Internet differ in many things from
real acquaintances until you meet the person face to face.
"Real" dating with many girls at the same time with the goal to choose one of them for serious
relationship can really create serious problems, I do not mention here etique side of this behaviour.
But romantic communication in Internet with several people is completely normal thing. As you have
mentioned yourself, it is impossible to be sure in rightesness of your choice until you met someone in
reality. That's why to leave "reserve variants" for yourself is rather thoughtful decision, and it does
not contradict any etique and moral norms.
Dolnot worry for girls, who, as you write, you are able to hurt. Most of them quite realistically look
at virtual acquaintacnes and understand that interesting romantic communication is just a chance, but
it is not a guarantee or a promise of a happy marriage. That's why the same as you many communicate
with several men, and the same as you do not hurry to make final choice.
With respect,
Dr Ivanov Back to top
Hi there!
I see this sight and i ask myself a few questions (i realy dont believe iam making a mistake in any way or
form - but i just thought id ask ) ok i have russian girlfriend and like most -a doll - ok iam married kids
grown up long gone have wife but well we are both victims shotgun wedding about 21 years ago we live under
same roof but at distant ends of the house , no sex rarely talk if we do it cold and sharp , although i
like her as a friend you know , id never wish her hurt , though she\'s pretty cold and she has absolutely
no interest in men , iam a guy il always pay the bills keep food on table pay morgage not a problem ,
but i do and pay everything for that with my work iam a dedicated historian in a special field and my
wife will never have a gripe financialy ( god knows i could never bestow her upon some other poor
bugger -she\'d send him broke ! guess thats why iam still with her , but my only stipualtion with
all this is well iam business man i dont drink smoke go out -hey iam that homely i live in a big
city in aussie yet ive never been 60 mile to the other side , iam not a roamer - my only luxury in
life is my ever so lovely 29 year old russian beauty --who i go over and see 3 times a year for
like 20/ 35 days a time --thats my only ace card in life and i aint about to give it up for the old
girl . iam happy the wife hmmmm tollerates it at best --ahh but then if nothings on offer on
the home front ( i mean whats a guy to do - i mean hell its either i tear down to the brothel
an d blow $600 a month or head to russia over a year hey iam saving $$ ) i personaly do not thing
iam doing a baddie hear as iam always back to pay the frieght etc ,and at days end iam still under
my own roof , but ive always been tad the vagabond --man has to have a hobby - i know several aussies
almost carbon copy situation as mine seem to be all coping ok .i just have this ever so slight guilt in
back of mind --should i just forget guilt and adopt the attitude what the hell yu might be dead tomorrow
live for today or should i totaly go without and sit and stare at the old girl whom hates my guts across
the house ? Steve Hello Steve,
Let's try to find out what really holds you back from final break up of relationship with your wife. Is
it a habit or a call of duty? You have already brought up children and provided for her for many years.
She had a real opportunity for this time to learn something and become independent, but she preferred to
stay dependable and helpless. It was her choice, so remorses here are irrelevant. You do not owe her anything
above what you should give to her by law. As a couple, as you have written, you have never had any love or
happiness and the last time you have become complete strangers.
But you all the same feel responsible for her life and well-being. Even more, you try to take responsibility
for the "less well-to-to" man, whom she can make a broke.
What is the "advantage" of your wife before the Russian girl that is so interesting and dear for you?
Only in the fact that this girl has her own life, independent of you and your wife , as you think, completely
depenedent on you. It gives you feeling of power, meaning and superiority, which are difficult for you to reject.
And you are ready "to pay" by all the inconvenience and miscomfort for these feelings and create these ambiguous
relationship.
If you honestly admit this facts to yourself then you will have a choice. You will be able to radically
change your life and connect it with the girl you love or leave it as it is. But in both cases, you will
stop to torment yourself by endless doubts and ask yourself this ungrateful question "Why do I need it?".
With respect,
Dr Ivanov Back to top
My husband has taken a great interest in writing e-mail letters to the different women
of every kind in internet ( just a month later after our wedding!), I feel very sad. It’s difficult to
interpret this situation unambiguously. Everything depends on the
reason of your sadness and nervousness. Do you just miss his attention, and if he had not communicated to
the women in internet, but for example had played some computer game instead, would you feel the same?
Or are you overflowed with burning jealousy and see in his virtual acquaintances your real rivals?
First let us discuss the first, less insulting, but not easy variant. Unfortunately, almost all families
sooner or later face with lack of mutual attention and interest. Romantic courting and pre-wedding cares
have passed already, wedding dress is thrown aside, honey-moon has flown and the life is getting to become
a routine. It’s getting to be boring. The situation is well known to our mothers and grandmas, but instead
of computer a man used to hide himself from boredom behind a newspaper or TV set.
We demand attention to ourselves and get offended, when we don’t get it, without thinking that it’s
senseless to demand attention. It must be attracted, earned and sometimes even won. And not once in a
life, but every day, every minute! A fight with family routine and monotony is a difficult task. And
variety of sex postures and techniques, which some specialists recommend as almost a universal recipe,
will not help in this situation. Even sex lovers don’t do sex 24 hours a day, but we constantly need
warmth, interest and attention.
First of all each of you must chose his own sphere of activity, communication and interests. Otherwise
your feelings are doomed to fade away, it’s a matter of time. If each of you gets impressions from the
same source, you have nothing to share with each other. To share does not mean to let each other know
all the details of his/her job, but to exchange lively feelings and emotions, which are interesting
regardless of his/her activity sphere.
To hold a man’s attention you should be various every day. It’s not only a matter of new clothes and
hair-dresses, but you should have new words, new actions and new emotions. Clear, that it’s a mutual
case, but someone must take the first step! And if you show initiative without falling into the grouchy
waiting depression, your husband, doubtless, responds to you in the same way with gratitude.
But if the problem is not only in lack of attention, but in your burning jealousy as well? If you are
indeed afraid of the real rivalry from his virtual acquaintances?
May be you just exaggerate everything and your fears are too much overestimated. A lot of people consider
internet acquaintances to be no more than just a game. They register on internet sites under false names,
show somebody else’s photos, ascribe non-existent qualities to themselves and are completely aware that
their virtual acquaintances can do the same. Such acquaintances never become real. There are no these
people in reality!
If in case with your husband the situation looks like this, his behavior is quite clear. In his interest
in virtual ladies he doesn’t see any “crime”, that’s why he doesn’t keep it in a secret from you. Perhaps
it has never come to his mind that it can arouse so strong feelings of jealousy and sadness. Thus you
should just talk about it quietly without blaming each other and the problem will be solved automatically.
But if it seems to you, that he is looking not for virtual acquaintances, but for real women? Take this
situation quietly and objectively! It is unlikely that he would do it in your presence. Of course, if he
doesn’t consider your relations to be exhausted and he intends to substitute you. But even in this case
it shouldn’t frighten you, I think. If your relations were really about to be broken off, your husband's
interest in virtual communication with ladies would not be your very big problem.
May be the situation is more simple? May be he just misses your warmth and attention as you do? May be
you are too much involved in your job or in housekeeping? May be it is too early for you to be sure that
your husband unlike a fiancé will not leave you? And he feels sad as much as you do, but he can’t tell
you about it. Because he is a man! He must be strong, firm, active! But without being aware what he
should do, he methodically tests your feelings, trying to arouse at least jealousy, any emotional
reaction showing your love to him? Help him, in the conflict that one gives in first, who is wiser,
not weaker. Back to top
